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"It
was not you who chose me but I who chose you and
appointed
you to go and bear fruit that will remain."
John 15:16
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Sr.
Mary James of the Meek Lamb of God
Vocation Story
I first felt my call
to religious life when I was in 3rd grade. I knew that
I wanted to offer my life to console the Sacred Heart
of Jesus. I don’t know where this desire came
from. It was almost like I was “born” with
it. I also had a great love for the Blessed Mother and
Our Lady of Fatima was my favorite apparition of Our
Lady. I loved explaining the faith to people and I liked
teaching my non-Catholic friends the rosary whenever
the opportunity arose!
However, as I grew older, the desire to be a nun faded
into the background. I still had my faith but I was
immersed in distractions. I felt very left out in high
school and all my thoughts were centered on fitting
in, getting a boyfriend, etc. I had my whole life planned
out. I would get married and become a Nutritionist and
live in downtown Tampa, Florida. As I soon found out,
God had totally different plans! My desire came back
when I began making adoration during my
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first
year of college. I was concerned about what I should do
with my life and beginning a new stage in my life felt
a little scary and lonely. I would go after class and
just sit in front of the tabernacle and I would feel Jesus
calling me to do something special for Him. I sensed that
He wanted me all for Himself but initially I didn’t
understand how. |
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As
the months went on, He subtly placed in my heart the desire
to console Him in every possible way and to live totally
for Him. I came upon prayers that I had written to Our
Lord as a child telling Him that I wanted to be His bride
and consecrating myself to His Sacred Heart and to St.
Margaret Mary. I soon realized that he was indeed calling
me. As I delved deeper into information on religious life
I began having some doubts and fears. I would question
whether I could really live that sort of life and whether
He really wanted someone like me.
However, God gave me so
many signs and affirmations that I was convinced. He gave
me little confirmations here and there that only He and
I knew about. I knew that I was being called to make reparation
and to spread the message of Divine Mercy but I could
find no such order. My mother offered the idea that maybe
it would be a new community that I hadn’t heard
of yet. I remember saying how absurd that was… “God
wouldn’t call me to a new order!”
During my second year of college I began visiting several
religious communities but I always felt there was something
missing. I went to the computer lab at my college one
afternoon to pass the time. I went to CatholicGoldmine.com
to look at some different orders. As I scrolled down the
list I saw one order which was highlighted, in italics
and underlined. The name was Sisters of Reparation to
the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus. I went to the site and
I saw that they wore a full habit; they spread the message
of Divine Mercy, and offered their lives to console the
Heart of Jesus. Well, that sounded very interesting to
me so I clicked on the link that said, “Email Mother
Superior: Sister Wendy”. When I did the page read:
“This page cannot be displayed”. Well, I thought
that obviously God didn’t want me to contact them
so without thinking twice I closed it and went to class.
The next day I decided to
go to my parish church to make a visit to Jesus. I was
alone in the church except for one other woman a few pews
ahead of me. I didn’t really know what to pray and
I suddenly felt that I was supposed to take out the missal
next to me. When I did a holy card of the Divine Mercy
fell into my lap. I felt compelled to just stare at it.
The lady in the church got up to leave and after a few
minutes she returned looking rather embarrassed. She said,
“I’m sorry…you’re going to think
that I’m totally crazy but I feel that I’m
supposed to give this to you.” She then handed me
a Catholic Digest on divorce. I thought it was a little
strange but I thought that maybe God wanted me to see
something in it. She replied, “You don’t even
look old enough to be married but I really felt like I
had to give this to you.” I thanked her and I suppose
to cover her embarrassment she said, “Oh, I see
you have a picture of the Divine Mercy…do you know
the chaplet? When I said that I did she said, “You
know my sister just founded a new order that spreads the
message of Divine Mercy…Well have a good day!”
As she turned to leave I knew that I had to stop her.
“What’s the order’s name?” I asked
her. She replied that it was the Sisters of Reparation
to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus. I asked, “With
Sr. Wendy and Sr. Grace in Steubenville, Ohio?!”
She looked very surprised and asked, “Do you know
them? Sr. Wendy is my sister!” I told her no, but
that I had come across their website for the first time
last night and the page wasn’t working.
She suddenly collapsed in
the pew next to me and said shaking, “You won’t
believe what just happened!” “As I was leaving
the church, I went to go put the magazine away and I heard
this voice say to me, ‘Go back to that girl and
give her the magazine.’ The voice kept saying this
over and over but it sounded crazy so I just ignored it
and got into my car…as I did I heard the voice say
to me, ‘If you don’t go back you’ll
be sorry!’ With that I gave up and marched back
in!” We both realized that it wasn’t the magazine
God wanted me to see but for her to see the picture of
Divine Mercy and be prompted to tell me about her sister’s
order. She gave me Mother Wendy’s email and some
information and said she was going home right then to
call her sister and tell her all that had happened!
A couple of weeks went by
and I finally got up the nerve to email Mother Superior,
but when I did, I got no response. I wondered what God
was doing. Well, I didn’t have long to wait because
a little while after that I decided to go to Saturday
Vigil Mass at another parish in another town, Brandon,
Fl. During the sign of peace the woman in front of me
turned around to shake my hand and it was Mother Wendy’s
sister again! We were both very surprised to see each
other. I asked her if this was the parish she normally
went to and she replied that St Stephen’s was her
parish (the same parish that I attended.) So we both ended
up at this parish and Mass which we never went to! She
asked me if I had emailed Mother. I told her that I had
but that I got no response. She said, “Oh, my sister
is just busy…email Sister Grace. When I did, I got
a response back from Mother. Mother’s email address
apparently wasn’t working so she just happened to
check Sister Grace’s and she got my letter!
When I visited them I immediately
felt drawn to their charism (reparation through Perpetual
Eucharistic Adoration, and Catechesis, especially spreading
the message of Divine Mercy). However, Mother Superior
and I decided that it would be wisest to finish up my
last two years of college and get my degree in education
before entering as I had earned a full scholarship. I
finally entered in August 2004.
I have now been with the
community for three years and I’m looking forward
to professing my first vows on Our Lady’s birthday,
September 8th , of this year, 2007.
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